I will spare you the details of the recruitment process and all alleged brouhaha; you probably must read it in the news or have seen the petition of the #NigeriaImmigration2000; if you haven’t, feel free to demand for it. I have a 45-paged document detailing the nitty-gritty of the recruitment. My phone beeps on a Saturday, 18th of April 2015 and guess what? It wasn’t the usual Konga emails on their great deals. It was Dragnet inviting me for a computer based test in Port-Harcourt. At first, I was really sceptical about it. But then I said to myself, NO RISK NO REWARD! I had always struggle for some things in life, dragnet exams inclusive. Are these people from planet earth? Where do they get their questions from? They were a nemesis in my first scholarship exams; don’t ask me which, thank you! Once again, my faith was tested. Few hours later, I would emerge from the hall smiling! I have never written a CBT and come out with the feeling that I am sure of 98% success, but that was how I felt that day. I then concluded, it looks like the Lord is saying something. Almost two weeks later, precisely the 30th day of April 2015, I got another mail from The Presidential Committee to Assist in Immigration Recruitment acknowledging my performance in the test and a physical examination slated for 7th of May 2015 at my state command. At this point, I felt it was time to put my Faith to test once more. I asked God for just one thing: they should only ask me of my local government area and the name of my chairman. Do you believe in miracles? If you don’t, please do. I am the religious type, but I had my doubts with this audacious request. At the state command, looking like a set of white lambs led to the slaughter, I opened not my mouth. A lot of things were funny, from photocopies meant to be #3 now #10 and office files sold at #50, we were also meant to get these things from accredited business centres which happened to be owned by the officers. Was this a business opportunity? Capital NO! I termed it “Legal Extortion”… Why would you insist I get all I needed for the physical examination at exorbitant prices and only from those vendors, when I could get it across the road? Pardon my digression, but I cannot promise you it won’t happen again. Inside the hall, the Deputy Comptrollers present admonished us to desist from paying any officer bribe. In their words, only God can give you this job. I couldn’t believe my ears. Who said there were no more good people in our paramilitary system? If it were after the elections, I would have shouted CHANGE IS HERE! Funny, it was the presumed corrupt Jonathan’s administration. This was UNCOMMON TRASFORMATION I guess. Finally, the much anticipated time had come. I was directed to a beautiful Chief Superintendent of Immigration. With a charming smile, she asked, “Which local government are you from?” I replied, “Uruan” “What is the name of your Chairman” she now asked. What? I stood dumb for few seconds, not because I didn’t know his name, but because I couldn’t believe my wish had come true. But I quickly recovered, answered and was waiting for the one million naira question that will ruin everything. She smiled once more and said “Congratulations; that would be all. Hope to see you at the command”. You must be kidding me! I jetted off before she would change her mind. On the 13th of May 2015, I got the breath taking mail from The Presidential Committee to Assist in Immigration Recruitment offering me provisional appointment as an Assistant Superintendent II of Immigration. I was to report at NIGERIA IMMIGRATION SCHOOL KANO by Monday 25th May 2015 for preliminary documentation. I could not hold my joy. I had to share it with my brethren; I told you I was the religious type. “My name is Aniekan Asukwo, I am here to testify of God’s goodness in my life…………..” I walked down the altar to the applause of about 10,000 audience; you know how large Winners’ Chapel can be. Little did I know that while men sleep, the devil (presumably in form of APC) will come in later to sow tares. Arriving ITSK Kano, it was an updated version of my experience at the state command; Legal Extortion! From the photocopying to the food vendors to the stationaries’ seller, every extortion opportunity was a hit, back to back! After battling for territorial rights with well feed mosquitoes, feeding from my pocket for about a week, I was sent back to my command with a posting letter rather than my appointment letter. At this point, I had a bad feeling, but like I will always say, IT IS WELL! Getting to my command, I reported and documented. Training started and I was beginning to enjoy the drills. “Bang that leg, the government has paid for it” Instructor Ukpabio will all shout at us. It was under the rain and sun. “Don’t dare me, I will make you cough out blood” Atakpa will threaten. “Kpachike” madam Bright will scream.
“If I teach you, you will never forget” Umiom will say with the subtlety of a serpent. Did I forget to mention that we were forced to pay for our induction? Well, I have just said it. I didn’t bother, because I was expecting the NIS alert that will burn some phones. There are some alert that your phone will require shock absorbers to receive, heard NIS alert after 3 months was one of such. After two weeks intensive drills, we were designated to various offices. I learnt a lot, including how to cut grasses and wash toilets. Least I forget, I also learnt how to WACK. Don’t bother to check your dictionary, only those from Akwa Ibom command will understand. My colleagues and brethren-in-arms were my new family. We had a general mess irrespective of the cadre; every Friday was a hit. Officers envied our cooperation and understanding. I wouldn’t be surprised if they tagged it mutiny; we were ONE BODY! Amongst all these anomalies and interesting experiences, I kept looking forward to the higher calling of training school and the high prize in my anticipated salary alert. But that dream was cut short on the 20th of August when we were dispersed forthwith. ………………………to be continued tomorrow
This gov't is a chaiiii
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